Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. Micah 7:18
It is often a tradition to go around the Thanksgiving table and tell what we are thankful for. Most people say they are thankful for family, friends, health, a roof over their heads, food on the table, etc. I have yet to hear someone say they are thankful for forgiveness. We don’t tend to think of forgiveness as a gift. Rather, we think of it as an action that we choose to impart on another person or not. However, to the person who has been forgiven, it is something to be thankful for. More importantly, but mostly neglected, is that the choice to forgive someone of a wrong-doing is actually a very powerful gift given to us by God. Therefore, we can be thankful for forgiveness.
God and Forgiveness
Thousands of books have been written on this subject. In fact, if you search Amazon books, there are over 9,000 books listed. I’m just going to give the nutshell version.
Forgiving is a characteristic of God’s character. Was He always forgiving, or did He need to choose to be? Genesis 3 records the fall of Adam and Eve. We don’t have any recording of how God felt when they chose to disobey Him and eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He obviously was sad and disappointed because He knew He could no longer trust them. Therefore, He had to make them leave the Garden of Eden and work the land for their food. But God still loved Adam and Eve. We see this by Him providing clothing for them so they would feel more comfortable. God chose to forgive Adam and Eve.
God purposely gave mankind free will because He wanted us to choose to allow Him to be our God, not make us automatons with no choice. I guess, God knew from the beginning of creation that He would need to weave forgiveness into His plan for mankind if we were going to have any chance of spending eternity with Him. Adam and Eve made it clear that we humans cannot be holy on our own. Therefore, God planned from before the beginning of time that forgiveness through His Son Jesus would be an integral part of the journey of humans from being unholy to becoming holy. Since God is holy, nothing unholy can live with Him. Our decision to accept God’s forgiveness for our sins, wrong-doings, is the only way we can become holy. Indeed, it really isn’t us becoming holy, but rather, the blood of Jesus crucified that covers us in holiness so God doesn’t see our darkness.
God created forgiveness. Perhaps it is the only way His anger is subsided when He looks at all the bad things we have done. When He forgives us, perhaps He heals Himself so that He can love us unconditionally. Forgiveness is a part of unconditional love – the true love we experience only from Him.
Why Forgive and Accept Forgiveness?
In the video clip, Reverend Desmond Tutu says, there is no future without forgiveness.
When we forgive someone a wrong-doing towards us, we free ourselves from becoming bitter and resentful. Offering forgiveness allows ourselves to heal and grow and show God’s love to another.
On the flipside, when we accept forgiveness, we need to confess to the other person that we have indeed wronged them, even if it is only perceived in their eyes. We need to apologize in order to reconcile the relationship. When we have indeed, wronged someone, when we first realize it, it is better to go immediately to that person and ask forgiveness. When we instigate forgiveness, we show that person that he/she is important to us and we do not want the wrong-doing to disrupt the relationship.
One of the most difficult things to do, though, is to forgive ourselves. Whether or not the person we have wronged forgives us or not, if we are truly sorry, apologized, and asked for forgiveness, not only from that person, but also from God, then we are free to move on, learn from our mistake and allow God to heal us and change us so that we do not repeat our wrong-doing. Sounds easy, huh? Not always. Many times, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to repeatedly come into our hearts and change us. It can be a long, and tedious process, but keep at it one day at a time and forgiveness is possible.
How to Forgive
For little offences, telling the offender once that he/she is forgiven is all it takes and all is right with the world. However, what happens if that person does something wrong again – even the same offence? Are we supposed to forgive that person again? Peter had the same question.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22
So, we are supposed to keep a running tally and once a person has wronged us 78 times, that’s it? We don’t forgive anymore? Not exactly, in Jewish tradition, seven is a number meaning completeness. Jesus using the number 77 has the meaning of an infinite number. We are to forgive another as many times as it takes so that we harbor no ill-will towards that person. It is really important to understand though, that just because we forgive someone does not mean we need to stay in a dangerous or abusive situation. Rather, we may need to disassociate with the offender even though we forgive that person. In this case, the act of forgiveness is part of our own healing.
Jesus’ teaching about how we are to act toward others is recorded in Luke. He connects judging and condemning people with forgiveness.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:37 & 38
If we judge someone, then we aren’t able to forgive that person. We need to model our behavior after Jesus’. In other words, it is far better to love another than judge another. If we are determined to treat others with respect, no matter how they treat us, we will be blessed by God – another great reason to forgive!
Paul wrote to both the Colossians and Ephesians about how we are to treat each other and forgive each other.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
Let there be no more bitter resentment or anger, no more shouting or slander, and let there be no bad feeling of any kind among you. Be kind to each other, be compassionate. Be as ready to forgive others as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31 & 32 (ME, revised).
In other words, we are supposed to forgive as God forgives us as was shown through His son Jesus Christ. As Christ was on the cross, He asked His Father to forgive those – us who crucified Him.
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. Luke 23:34
God practices forgiveness every minute of every day towards us. This is how we are to forgive – every minute of every day. When forgiveness is so difficult, be patient with yourself. It may take years to actually forgive. In fact, we may be holding on to bitterness and not even realize it. However, when God shows us our unforgiveness, forgive immediately. Be free of the chains of anger and bitterness. Only then can we move forward and experience joy and peace. We can be truly thankful for forgiveness.
I wish all of you joy and peace this holiday season!
*All verses are in the New International version unless otherwise designated.
